Last night, since my dog has been having explosive diahrrea, i heard him circling around about to take a dump so i had to take him outside. As soon as i opened the door, he bolted out the door at lightning fast speeds.

For context: Imagine a dog like this:

But 10 lbs lighter and a good 5-10 mph faster. So after some time, i went to go pick him up, because i imagine he doesn't want to walk because it's 30 degrees and windy as fuck. But when i go look for him, the bitch is gone! So i had to get someone to help me look for him for 45 minutes, in the freezing cold, almost getting blown down multiple times, and when we find him and when we found him he was pissing on some random lady's bush. He didn't even look cold either. At least he didn't shit in my floor again though 😲